Around Town

10 Best Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping @ Your Desk

2006-05-03T22:58:00.000-05:00

10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
09. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."
7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy."
6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"
4. "Well! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to handle that big accounting problem."
3. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"
2. "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?!?"

And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at desk !

1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus name, Amen."

Santa's Crib

2005-12-24T17:17:00.000-06:00

Inspired by MTV's popular show CRIBS check out the most recent addition to the tours. It's Santa's Crib - powered by IFILM

The LaughNetwork of Humor

2005-09-24T12:19:00.000-05:00

Do you need a laugh today? I found this cute site that has many fun sections. Check the LuaghNetwork.com = FriendTest.com, Inc. The LaughNetwork of Humor, Greeting Card, and Entertainment Websites

Why men are happier

2005-07-26T22:37:00.000-05:00

From E-mail Forward: Men Are Just Happier People
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Elderly woman hoards more than 300 cats

2005-07-12T11:23:00.000-05:00

This is just disgusting!

Elderly woman hoards more than 300 cats - Yahoo! News:"Cats were coming out of the cabinets and drawers and were inside the walls. There were hundreds of them," Fairfax County Police officer Richard Henry told Reuters.

Gangsta Gadgets

2005-06-30T10:26:00.000-05:00

Imagine that! Gadgets for the hip-hop world. And that's exactly what the folks at Sync Magazine did for the June issue, delivering a wide range of fantastically conceived pieces of gear, including the "Laptop Lowrider", the "Ba-Donka-Donk" Mouse and seven other concepts that will blow your mind and make you scream.

Click here to View the Gangsta Gadgets

Flash Movie - Neverending Picture Rotation

2005-06-27T01:16:00.000-05:00

I like it, but it made me dizzy!!! I think I would have watched longer if the picture was of Brad Pitt. www.clublaugh.com/es-items/712.swf

Flash Movie - Pull My Finger

2005-06-22T00:24:00.000-05:00

This was entertaining for three seconds. Good old fashion disgusting humor. What else do you expect form "pull My Finger"?!?MisterNiceHands

Netdisaster - Destroy the web!

2005-06-19T22:50:00.000-05:00

I love this site. I stumbled upon it thanks to 'Stumble' and it has immediately placed into my favorite links. Go ahead enter any site. I live that it will screengrab what is on the net right now and will do whatever you choose. Destroy a webpage now!

Flash Movie - Falling Dude

2005-06-19T18:39:00.000-05:00

Turn up your speakers, this is a fun flash clip. Snowman like little guy falls and screams along the beat of a dance track. Funnier is that I can actually picture the song playing at the local night club. Falling Dude

Flash Game - Subservient Chicken

2005-06-17T13:42:00.000-05:00

I know it's been a while but I realized after seeing this today that I never got a chance to post theis marketing site for Burgerking. It was the latest craze many months back. Renew the fun by clicking below and order the chicken around...Subservient Chicken

Joke of the Day

2005-06-16T19:29:00.000-05:00

From E-Mail Forward - In Honor of Stupid People . . . .
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Joke Of The Day

2005-06-15T17:40:00.000-05:00

From E-mail Forward: *Catholic Parrots
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed; then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. "Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Frank and Jacob. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank, our prayers have been answered!"

Painful Toilet Paper

2005-06-15T17:34:00.000-05:00

From Email Forward:
A WISH ... for all the DIFFICULT PEOPLE in your life

Joke of the Day

2005-06-14T16:22:00.000-05:00

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "I've just realized something.
You have been with me all through the bad times; When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
He replied, "I think you're bad luck, get the fuck away from me.

Eric Myer Photography

2005-06-13T22:09:00.000-05:00

Eric Myer Photography

The New Rocky

2005-05-13T14:11:00.000-05:00

Very inspiring, see you can do anything anywhere if you put your mind to it. Check out the funny clip of a wannabe Rocky.
The New Rocky

Michael Jackson's Favorite things

2005-05-07T23:20:00.000-05:00

Michael Jackson's Favorite things: "Michael Jackson's Favorite Things"

Movie Clip - Reason NOT to drink at the office party...

2005-04-07T13:48:00.000-05:00

This is hillarious, she is sooo fired!

Special thanks to locallans.com for hosting video.
Reason NOT to drink at the office party...: "http://www.locallans.com/OfficeParty.mpg"

Downfall of Winning The Lotto

2005-04-07T13:39:00.000-05:00

I was originally forwarded the actual video clip but found this site that linked to it. Cute commercial, if only this were the main concerns for any major life change...

Videos: Watch a Video - BlogTelevision.net

Funny Video - Sun Fizz Drink

2005-02-21T00:16:00.000-06:00

The image is a bit distorted but this was a funny video of a sprite commercial. Enjoy - BoFunk - Sun Fizz Drink:

Gary Brolsma’s Numa Numa Dance

2005-02-17T23:39:00.000-06:00

Gary Brolsma’s uncanny timing in a video he calls “Numa Numa Dance” CHeck it out here. I looked all over the web for a direct link to the video but I think his server has disconitinued access to it. News reports from all over the US have reported on the funny clip that has been e-mailed many many times. Check out his vieo from MSNBC below:

MSNBC - You go, Gary!

Bad breath led to man's arrest

2005-02-17T12:02:00.000-06:00

WOW - nuff said!

Bad breath led to man's arrest
February 16, 2005 — Apparently bad breath led to a Massachusetts's man arrest. A woman in Quincy was tied up and raped in her home.

She claimed the suspect was the manager at a restaurant where she worked. She recognized his bad breath!

Investigators say DNA tests proved she was right. The suspect pleaded not guilty to the charges on Monday. | source:ABC7Chicago

DR-Joe Quiz

2005-02-17T10:16:00.000-06:00

Take this short fun quiz, answer truthfully and you'll like the results.
Take Quiz Now

MSNBC - Drunk -- on three glasses of Listerine

2005-02-03T15:27:00.000-06:00

ADRIAN, Mich. - A woman arrested after failing a sobriety test and telling police she drank three glasses of Listerine has pleaded guilty to drunken driving. | source: MSNBC

Imagine now walking up to a bar...Yes Bartender. I'd like a shot of Listerine! - heheh

QT movie - Door Handle.mpg

2005-01-17T14:04:00.000-06:00

Why not get a head start on practical jokes for April fools day? See movie file below, this was unintentional but apparantly quite funny.
doorhandle.mgp | source: bulldotshit

'Lap Pillow' Offers Solace to Lonely Men

2004-12-15T22:31:00.000-06:00

A friend of mind sent me thins article. Couldn't help but to roll my eyes and chuckle a bit.

Employees of the Japanese toy maker Trane Co., Ltd. relax their heads atop the company's new 'lap pillow', a polyurethane pillow shaped like a kneeling woman from the waist-down in Tokyo December 15, 2004. The pillows, targeted at single men in their twenties and thirties, are available at 9,429 yen ($90) with a choice of red or black skirt. REUTERS/Yuriko Nakao | source: Yahoo! News

Phoons from Around the World

2004-12-03T11:34:00.000-06:00

If ever there was a link that was fit for this section of my blog this is it. Here is a page that collects pctures submitted by people from all over the world in a fun "phoon" pose. Click here to see the Phoons from Around the World

Error Page For Idiots

2004-11-18T20:30:00.000-06:00

I love this page! I wish we would customize error messages in my company website, like the one found in this page. I found this link in one of my POP-Sci magazines, after squinting for a few I was able to go to the correct web address and retrieve the message:

YOU REFRESHED WHEN TOLD NOT TO!

The previous page clearly asked you to wait while the transaction is being processed, and NOT to refresh the page.

Your inability to read a clear instruction has now caused the transaction to be aborted abnormally. An email has been sent to the merchant web site and also to PriceTag in order for us to try and track your transaction.

Close your browser - you will be contacted at your given email address if necessary.

View Idiot Error Page Here

ABC7Chicago.com: Chicago man sues neighbor for stealing wife

2004-11-15T12:00:00.000-06:00

November 15, 2004 — A 44-year-old man from Chicago's Southwest Side is suing his 61-year-old neighbor, accusing him of stealing his wife. | source ABC7Chicago.com

Redneck Rollercoaster

2004-11-11T01:42:00.000-06:00

It's funny what things can come up with when bored out of their mind in some booney-ville town.Watch this fun clip of a red-neck roller coaster | Source EBaum's World Media

Pictures of What Pets Do When We're Away

2004-11-11T01:22:00.000-06:00

Have a pet? Curious what your pet would do if you had one? See a small collection of funny pet pictures. After seeing these I wonder what my dog des while I'm away.

What Pets Do When We're Away - ebaumsworld.com

Around Town - Redneckville

2004-09-10T17:50:00.000-05:00

I got these in one of my e-mails. Click on image to view larger size. You know you're a redneck when...

Around Town News - Russia

2004-09-03T13:59:00.000-05:00

There has been so many events that I haven't had the time to write about. The topics that this blog focus on seem (correction ARE) so aloof in comparison to many devastating world events. I am deeply saddened to the horrid killings occuring in Russia. How can anyone overbear and seek to make a point by harming children? The innocence and well being of children should never be threatened. These kids are defenseless innocent beings that should have no part in these ridiculous terrorist acts. I always try to put myself in the other persons' point of view. I can understand that people want to be heard and taken seriously. However there is a line with trying to prove a point and sheer madness and cruelty. The massacre at the Russian school has no reasonable explanation.

What urks me more is the fact that our president makes no mention of these events and continues on his normal planned activities of self promotion. This goes for all politicians. I have always been a bit ticked off at the fact that an elected official doesn't continue with his job responsibilities, that he was elected to perform and instead travels around running for office. ALL of them do this, they decide they want a higher post and try to gain exposure by raising a campaign and STOP WORKING. George Bush campaigned for re-election, and makes no mention of the Russian Events.

What can he do anyway? Awareness alone is something. Sadly many Americans don't watch the news, but some do go out to these campaign rallies. Some do catch his speeches on TV. Let me know you are doing your job and what is going on in the world that affects us and humanity for that matter.

MSNBC - More than 100 killed in Russian school siege

Around Town News - London

2004-08-31T13:19:00.001-05:00

This just looks funny. I feel bad for the short guy, being a short person my self I know standing next to a 7ft+ person all day would make me feel even smaller.

August 27, 2004 (London, England)

The queen's newest guard towers over London, though he's not as tall as Big Ben. Martyn Walters is 7 foot 3- and 9 foot tall in his bearskin helmet.
	He serves next to the shortest member of the guard outside Buckingman Palace who is 5 foot 2. "Walters can do just about anything except when it rains. Then he's replaced by a shorter soldier who can stand under the rain shelter."

Source @ ABC7Chicago.com

Around Town News - Athens, Greece

2004-08-27T13:39:00.000-05:00

Greek taxi driver finds Olympic medal

... And the silver metal goes to Simon Diederik! Event: Getting trashed and losing your belogings...

August 26, 2004 (ATHENS, Greece) — One Olympic athlete better keep his medal around his neck.

Greek taxi driver Ioannis Zavos found a surprise in the back seat of his cab -- an Olympic silver medal.

The medal had been won by Dutch rower Simon Diederik. He had hailed a yellow cab Monday night and left the medal behind.

Olympic officials notified Athens cab companies after Diederik realized what he had done.

There are about five-thousand taxis in Athens, but the medal was found after a two day search. The Athens Organizing Committee will be rewarding the cabbie for his honesty.

(Copyright 2004 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Source from: ABC7Chicago.coml

Around Town News - New York

2004-08-23T22:11:00.000-05:00

Breast Cancer Awareness with the World's Largest Pink Ribbon

The pink ribbon means something different for everyone. For one it might be a memory of one lost to breast cancer. For another it might be a symbol of what the future could bring. For yet another, it could mean survival. No matter what it represents to each individual, it brings hope to the thousands of people who are affected by breast cancer every year. If you're one of these people, join Post-it® Brand in creating the World's Largest Pink Ribbon and "sticking up" for the cause that touches so many lives. Read more info @ www.3m.com/us/office/postit/research/largest_pink_ribbon.jhtml

Around Town News - Stolen "Scream"

2004-08-23T11:00:00.000-05:00

Stolen "Scream"

This is actually one of my favorite paintings. I am amazed how it was stolen AGAIN! Read the full Story at abcnews.com

Around Town News - Chicago

2004-08-16T03:09:00.000-05:00

ABC7Chicago.com - August 16, 2004:
Oprah Winfrey reports for jury duty

The billionaire will wait with about 300 other prospective jurors. A jury supervisor says -- even if Winfrey isn't picked for a jury by the end of the day -- she'll still receive a 17-dollar check from the court for her time.

What are the odds!?! I've served twice now and never has there been a BILLIONAIRE sitting next to me.

Around Town News - Switzerland

2004-08-12T15:22:00.000-05:00

Below are pictures of a public toilet in Switzerland that's made entirely out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there, but when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box.
Click on Image to view larger size

OOooooooh!

AAaaaaaah!

Around Town News - Chicago

2004-08-09T02:18:00.000-05:00

EEEEEEEEWWWW!!!!!!
ABC7Chicago.com: Bus dumps waste on boat below
-I heard on the radio this morning that allegedly the tour bus that made the dumping belonged to the Dave Matthews Band.